Convince your parents of your love marriage by making them meet him/her: The first step to conclusive your parents of a love marriage is construction them meet your girlfriend/boyfriend. Don’t even go into any conversation with them before making them meet your special someone. The purpose of this meeting is to begin to your parents what a best husband/wife he/she will make for you. Coach your girlfriend/boyfriend suitably before this meeting (Disclaimer: I’m not talking about putting up a fake face to your parents. I’m only highlight that they need to put their best feet forward when they meet them).
At the end of the day your parents want your cheerfulness. If you can use this meeting to inspire upon them that he/she is a perfect match for you it’ll be easy for you to convince them of a love marriage with him/her.
Convince your parents of your love marriage by creating a interactive relationship: An even better thing to do however, is to establish your girl/guy to your parents as a friend of yours, at least a year before you plan to marry. Help them know each other and familiarize with each other. Later when you bring up the question of marriage with your parents, you’re talking about someone they know very well. Hence convincing your parents of a love marriage with the person they know so well and for so long would be much easier.
Convince your parents of your love marriage by giving them a actuality check: Nothing is as forceful as actuality . In order to convince your parents of your love marriage, give them real life examples of happy and victorious “love marriages”. Don’t neglect to also throw in a few examples of people you know whose marriages were arranged and have turned out to be unhappy. 😉 Cite these occasion, stating how being in a relationship with someone for some time before marriage is necessary to determine mutual agreement and accordingly , to creating a better chance for include a happy life together. Which brings me to the most determine point…
Convince your parents of your love marriage on the basis of togetherness: Explain to your parents the importance of mutual togetherness and understanding in a marriage, which essentially needs to be gauged (to the extent possible) before taking the final decision. Compatibility goes much beyond castes, horoscopes, food habits, family background and financial capability. It depends on personality types, beliefs, likes and dislikes, attitude towards the relationship etc. And these things can never be even gauged without spending at least a year or two in an active relationship with each other (which you hopefully have, with your significant other). And no, the modern arranged marriage which involves fixing the date of the marriage first and spending a year dating each other next doesn’t count. This is based on the obvious fact that the time a couple spends together in a relationship before marriage is meant to aid the decision of whether to get married or not. If that decision has already been taken, any amount of pretend-dating doesn’t count.
Convince your parents of your love marriage citing crucial mutual emotional needs: Different people have different emotional needs from their partners. It takes some time to gauge whether a person’s emotional needs are going to be satisfied by another person. In an arranged marriage context, there’s no way of knowing this, since the degree of emotional closeness that is required before someone can find out whether the other satisfies their needs or not, is impossible to attain before such a marriage. You need to make them see this in order to convince your parents of your love marriage.
A friend of mine was a free-thinking romantic ball of fire before marriage. She happened to have her marriage arranged to a financially well-established, dependable but rather practical and unromantic guy six years her senior. Soon after the marriage it became apparent that if he were chalk, she would be cheese. No wonder she totally changed as a person, shut herself up emotionally and is living in a mental prison ever since. Do your parents want that for you? I’m sure not.
#6. Convince your parents of your inter-caste love marriage: Of course, in some Indian families the hardest of marriages to earn a parental thumbs-up on is an inter-caste marriage. Along with all the usual challenges of convincing your parents of a love marriage to the girl/guy of your choice, this once comes with its own set of hurdles – like age old traditions, strong stereotypes held by many people, and above all, your parents’ fear of social ostracism should they allow you to marry someone from a different caste (particularly, a so-called “lower” one).
It’s not easy, to say the least.
But what if your parents are stubborn and just won’t give in to your tricks and strategies?
Have you ever tried to convince your parents of your love marriage to your boyfriend/girlfriend? What was the experience like? I’m eagerly waiting to read about your experiences in the comments section.
This is your life and you must live it your way. If you love your boyfriend, then you must marry him only and not some random person chosen by your family. The first step is for you to believe and be fully committed to this eventuality.
In order to convince your family, it is best to open a point of negotiation. Find the members of your family who would be least resistant to your marrying out of your caste, this could be your mother, your aunt or your brothers/sisters or cousins. Look for an opportunity and confide in them that you love this man. Be open and honest and request if they would be open to meeting him. Emphasise that you really like him and want to be happy with him.
Do this for members of your family, one by one. You will gain confidence in how to negotiate with your family and win support from family members who will meet your boyfriend and will undoubtedly like him (family members who genuinely love you will definitely end up liking your boyfriend, as they want to see you happy).
Once this is done, identify a family friend who you can introduce your boyfriend to. You may prefer to talk to the ladies in that house but ensure you make at least one man meet your boyfriend. This is important as the biggest protest appears to come from your father and making sure that part of his social peer group is on your side will help your case.
One important thing to remember, try to prevent, but not actively hide, this from your father. For instance, do not Whatsapp your family about your relationship or leave traces that can be found. This is important because when you finally confront your parents, you must be confident that you are genuine and not doing anything behind their backs to hurt them.